Thursday, January 22, 2015

Shadows and Other Stuff

Well, it's time for me to announce that I'm sick and tired of the cold already.  While there is supposedly a big storm coming for Saturday, we really haven't had a lot of snow.  But it has been so cold and windy.  Cold enough to freeze my water bottle and iPhone when I go out to run. I think it's just extra hard this time of year because it's cold AND dark.  Not a good combination to be faced with every single morning at 4:45. Some days I hit the stoop and my brain is all


... and that's when I generally head towards the treadmill.  Even though it's cold out there too, I warm up faster and of course, there's no wind chill.  The issue with that is while treadmill running gets the job done, it's b-o-r-i-n-g!  The other morning I just kept repeating "6-8 more weeks and this will be over."

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Little Helen responded to our request for a date by asking us to block off July 23-25.  Other than that, we pretty much have no clue what is going to happen.  We finally decided just to completely back off and whatever happens, happens.  It was just too frustrating and upsetting trying to get them to open up.  I know there are those out there who think that since she's a 35 year old adult woman, that's the approach that should have been taken in the first place,  But this is my only child and for her entire life I've looked forward to be excited WITH her about planning a wedding.  That's not what's happening and so all I can do is move on.

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The first thing I moved on to is planning our vacation!  That's always fun, right?  We already knew we wouldn't be going to the Caribbean this year.  Even being able to stay in our friend's home, it's an expensive vacation.  We thought about going to Montauk, New York but couldn't find reasonable accommodations.  My sister tried to talk us into coming to the Hamptons anyway, and staying with her.  It's a nice offer because she has an in-ground pool, the beaches (including Montauk) are nearby, and there are plenty of excellent restaurants.  But the truth is, if we did that it wouldn't really be "our" vacation because the kids are there and instead of having time as a couple it ends up being more of a family thing.  Then we looked at Cape Cod where we haven't been there since our disastrous trip in 2010.  We love the Cape but as I started looking at prices to rent a cottage, I started thinking I should expand where we might go... where could we go in driving distance?  Suddenly I thought of the Outer Banks of North Carolina.  I've always wanted to go there and we already know we like North Carolina.  So as I explored, I realized I could get us a 3 bedroom/2 bathroom house in the Outer Banks for what we'd pay for a tiny cottage on the Cape.  I figured I'd have to talk Mr. Helen into it because he is not a fan of long drives, but he was on board from the get go. I found us a great house just one block from the beach, so Outer Banks it is!  Neither of us has ever been there and I'm so excited for us to go and explore a new place together. While I'm super excited to see a couple new lighthouses (I seek them out on vacations), is it terrible to admit that one of the things I'm most looking forward to is Eastern North Carolina vinegar based pulled pork?  LOL!

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Things are up and down with the nutritionist.  Or rather I should say my weight has been up and down - lost 3 pounds the first week, then immediately gained 2 back the second week eating and exercising the same both weeks.  My immediate reaction was how much I hate the scale.  I seriously wanted to scream.  But my second reaction was to be glad to show her exactly what I've been dealing with for years.  If she can figure this out, it will be my hallelujah you hear.


And just about the time I'm ready to give up hope, I get a sign, of sorts...

When I was running yesterday morning, I was on the downhill stretch home running smack in the middle of the street (you can do that at 5:30 am).  The street lights were casting shadows ahead of me.  I noticed one right away - it was tall and thin and sort of graceful looking.  But then I noticed a closer shadow: shorter, chubbier and clunking along.  I realized that the closer darker shadow was how I really looked.  Then it occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, while I could see my present, just a little bit ahead, was my future.